I don’t know why I’m writing this. I woke up at two am and haven’t been able to fall asleep so I am just gonna post it and hope I don’t read it tomorrow and hate it.
But I guess I owe the universe an apology and I am starting with here. I truly appreciate any attention or care anyone gives me. Ranging from talking on AIM regularly to the k word from time to time to even likes on a photo when we don’t talk. Any sort of effort regardless of the intention means something and I ought to recognize that. I always whine that everyone sucks but they don’t. I want a form of relationship that doesn’t exist in reality. I shouldn’t hold anyone to that standard and yet that’s why I get frustrated and bitchy cause I am greedy and selfish. Yes, sometimes people suck. But mostly, they’re awesome. I’m trying to believe this rather than just say it.
I always switch between hating everyone and loving everyone and I know it’s healthier to love everyone. So I mean to say thank you for that attention and friendship in whatever form you offer it in. Thank you for any ounce of effort. No matter what I say or have said, it means something to me. Every action is an action made willingly, and despite my outward ungratefulness, I (and my writer, regardless of how lame that sounds) wanna say thank you to everyone I’ve ever interacted with positively around here.
I received word that lossmanlostherself nominated me for the ALS ice bucket challenge, but I was working, so I did it on stage. ANYWAY yeah, donate to ALS! cause I dumped a bucket of ice water on my head…